A. 

1 min read

• What does friendship mean to you ?

Mutual trust and enjoyment of company between two people. Two people who know each other well.

•  Has it always meant the same throughout your life ?

No - I think it changes as you get older and have more learned life experiences.

• How old are you now ?

31

• Could you break down the evolution of your idea of friendship throughout different periods of your life ?

a) middle school / high school

b) university

c) first years of working life

d) the most recent stage of your life

As you grow older and move away from friends, you may have less consistent contact with them and feel like you know less about them and their lives. Some friendships last through these changes but others slowly go-away. The manner in which you meet people changes, school vs. work vs. actively searching for friends in new cities. In my late 20's and 30's I've found that is harder to meet new people who I would consider to be a friend, outside of work.

• Do you value more romantic relationships than friendships ? Or if you cannot answer this in a straightforward way, could you explain how these two play a role in your life ? Basically here you can write your thoughts on both. 

I value both. My wife is my friend but also so much more. She knows me more intimately, supports me more unwaveringly and we live and shape our lives together. Similar things could be said about friends but for me it's on a much smaller scale, I will never have the same relationship with a friend as I do my wife.

• What is the definition of a good friend to you ?

Trusting, loyal, similar interests.

• Would you say that you are a good friend ?

I think so!

• Has it always been the case ?

There have been times where I have been a bad friend but I believe I've always made amends.

• If not, what made you change ?

I valued our friendship so it was important to fix the problems I made.

• Would you say that the way you first saw friendship (its role, its purpose, i.e, what it meant) was influenced by how your parents - or your primary caregiver- interacted with their friends ? (Please do take a moment to think about it)

I think my parents influenced how I formed friendships but more directly by lessons of teaching me to share or asking if I would like to be treated in a certain way. I don't remember my parents having a lot of friends when I was very young but I do remember the lessons they taught me about being friendly to kids in my class. My mom also did a great job of setting up playdates when I was very young to get me into these social settings to learn about interacting with kids.

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• How do you feel when you are with your close friends ? 

Comfortable

• Does it match the definition of friendship you mentioned in the first question ?

I think so

• What are your thoughts on the notion of ‘efforts’ put in relationships in general ? And in friendship in particular ?

I think so, friends need to be on the same 'wave length' to get enjoyment out of each interaction and feel comfortable.

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• Here you can add any thoughts that you would like to share about this theme.

I think society (at least in the US) makes it more difficult to make friends as you get older and it's sad as there is research that shows the older you get the less time you spend with others, especially friends.

When you were answering these questions, I bet you had specific people in mind. So please as soon as you are done answering these, tell your friends that you love them :)