• What does friendship mean to you ?

Friendship for mean means understanding and caring for someone else, someone you want the best for and trust and therefore you feel you have a good bond with

 

•  Has it always meant the same throughout your life ?

No it hasn’t, my perception of it has evolved over the years. I thought knowing many people meant having many friends, over the years I realised knowing someone or interacting with someone a lot in your life does not mean they are your friends. Your friends are those who you choose and work on having a good relationship with.

 

• How old are you now ?

21

 

• Could you break down the evolution of your idea of friendship throughout different periods of your life ?

a) middle school / high school

b) university

c) first years of working life

d) the most recent stage of your life

 

Well what I explained early I could say it was I thought I had through middle school up until nearly last few years of high school. Then last year of high school I think I started to see who my real friends were, but like to it maybe too much to the heart. I think because I am an emotional person I used to have too high expectations of how your friends should treat you, but over the years my perception has evolved more into realising your friends show you they care for you in different ways, and some people who appeared to be good friends were not, they just wanted something from you.

 

• Do you value more romantic relationships than friendships ? Or if you cannot answer this in a straightforward way, could you explain how these two play a role in your life ? Basically here you can write your thoughts on both. 

I value more friendships than romantic relationships. I never liked it when some of my friends would just suddenly start dating a guy they barely knew and starting to make more effort to please them and be with them than with their friends they know for long. That said I do value real romantic relationships, I just think that for those to be real the person you date has to also be one of your best friends, eventually maybe your best friend. And like your other best friends you are very happy to be with them. I don’t exactly know how to explain it, but yeah I value my best friends who have helped me a lot throughout the years.

 

• What is the definition of a good friend to you ?

Like i said I think a good friend is a person who cares for you, they are there for you equally in the supper nice happy moments than in your lowest, you trust them cause they are loyal and would have your back, you feel comfortable to be around them and you want them to be happy. They let you be you no matter what and with no judgement

 

• Would you say that you are a good friend ?

Yes, and I hope that those I consider my friends would say the same

 

• Has it always been the case ?

I think yes, but definitely as my idea of friendship evolved I think I also improved on how much of a good friend I am.

 

• If not, what made you change ?

-

 

• Would you say that the way you first saw friendship (its role, its purpose, i.e, what it meant) was influenced by how your parents - or your primary caregiver- interacted with their friends ? (Please do take a moment to think about it)

No but because as bad at it sounds, I didn’t feel similar to my parents from a young age, I loved them but felt I have a very different personality than them so for this questions I think I have never ever thought of it.

​

• How do you feel when you are with your close friends ? 

I feel genuinely good, like after we hang I can think back and feel how happy they make me, they can change my mood even in a bad way. This also is bad for me sometimes cause if there is any issue between us, it affects me negatively too a lot.

 

• Does it match the definition of friendship you mentioned in the first question ?

Yes I think so

 

• What are your thoughts on the notion of ‘efforts’ put in relationships in general ? And in friendship in particular ?

Yes and no, I think for the relationship of any type overall effort should feel balanced between the two of them. It doesn’t matter how each of them express that effort, I do realise people express love in different ways, but they both should feel the other cares for them. For me when I start to see that I put in a lot more into the friendship that the other person, I realise maybe they are not your good friends, doesn’t mean you have to always get them out of your life, but maybe I reevaluate how much I do for them and maybe sometime end up doing less.

 

• Here you can add any thoughts that you would like to share about this theme.

-

 

When you were answering these questions, I bet you had specific people in mind. So please as soon as you are done answering these, tell your friends that you love them :)