• What does friendship mean to you ?

According to me, friendship is the feeling of joy and safety that emanates from you when in presence of certain humain beings.

 

•  Has it always meant the same throughout your life ?

This definition has definitely evolved over time.

 

• How old are you now ?

I am currently 21 years old, and still studying.

 

• Could you break down the evolution of your idea of friendship throughout different periods of your life ?

a) middle school / high school

b) university

c) first years of working life

d) the most recent stage of your life

 

High school : Younger, I thought that there was different degrees of friendship : school companions, friends, best friends, siblings. I was considering differently friendship from the people surrounding me.

University : I now realize that there is not really any category. Friendship is something that you share with few people, and they are your friends. They are all equal in your heart and you feel good with any of them in the same way. You can definitely feel closer to some of them, but this is really due to timing, distance or interest at a precise moment. I also realized that you rarely have one friend with whom you can do anything, you can talk about anything. You are more often sharing your life with multiple friends with their own personalities, and each one of them brings you something different : some will be perfect for partying, others for having deep conversations, or for dreaming and talking about big ambitions and their realizations. One should accept that you need all of them in order to fulfill all the events of life.

 

• Do you value more romantic relationships than friendships ? Or if you cannot answer this in a straightforward way, could you explain how these two play a role in your life ? Basically here you can write your thoughts on both. 

I do think that there is a difference between romantic relationships and friendships. Even though we say that you partner is also your best friend, you do not act the same way with him or your so called friends.

1. The physical and intimate interactions shared with your partner are definitely creating something strong and different that just the basic physical interactions with friends.

2. Moreover, your significant other knows some aspects of your personality that no other friends would even suspect. He/She will see you in every mental state, through any emotions and he will certainly know really private informations about you.

3. However, there are some things that you don't want to tell to your partner and you prefer to talk with friends. They can help you with more hindsight since they are not as emotionally implied as her/him.

4. I also think that some activities you enjoy most with friends than girl/boyfriend and vice-versa.

5. This could bring a whole other debate, but I do not believe in the existence of friendship between a man and a woman (assuming they are both straight and cisgender)

 

• What is the definition of a good friend to you ?

A good friend is someone who I can talk to whenever I need and that will always represent a support and a safe place for me. He should be able to tell me the truth each time needed, even if I am wrong. We do not need to talk to each other everyday, but we know that we are there for the other.

 

• Would you say that you are a good friend ?

I would say that I am a good friend most of the time, but in some situations I can kind of "abandon" them (for a short period of time). Still, I do not really feel habilitated to answer this question.

 

• Has it always been the case ?

Not fully, I used to be more present for my friends.

 

• If not, what made you change ?

I think that the discovery of love and all the other responsibilities that I assume now have a bit changed this.

 

• Would you say that the way you first saw friendship (its role, its purpose, i.e, what it meant) was influenced by how your parents - or your primary caregiver- interacted with their friends ? (Please do take a moment to think about it)

No, I do not think so. During childhood, my parents were not often surrounded by friends, but rather by their family members. In the mean time, I have always been extraverted and eager to talk with new people and discover them. This allowed me to build friendships and learn about it on my own.

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• How do you feel when you are with your close friends ? 

Sometimes it feels like I am drunk. I am really joyful to be surrounded by them, and I also feel in a place where I can talk about anything without any hesitation nor taboo.

 

• Does it match the definition of friendship you mentioned in the first question ?

It matches it perfectly !

 

• What are your thoughts on the notion of ‘efforts’ put in relationships in general ? And in friendship in particular ?

Under certain conditions, you can start losing the "connexion" with your friend. In this case, you will eventually try to go back to the ideal situation and do anything to regain back the friendship. However sometimes, the effort you want to put in are not worthy since they are not reciprocated. Your friend is not trying as much as you. Outside of this situation, I do think that you should try everything and put as much effort as possible when needed.

 

• Here you can add any thoughts that you would like to share about this theme.

I am fine, thanks Kissou !

 

When you were answering these questions, I bet you had specific people in mind. So please as soon as you are done answering these, tell your friends that you love them :) 

I will, you are right when saying that it is important to tell people you love that you love them.

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