• What does friendship mean to you ?

To me, a friendship is a chosen relationship. Therefore, it's a place of trust, love, support, growth, understanding and a place of discovery. It is not always easy because sometimes people grow apart, or also because of geographical distance. 

 

•  Has it always meant the same throughout your life ?

Yes. I have always been really close to my friends or at least wanted to have close relationships with my friends.

 

• How old are you now ?

28

 

• Could you break down the evolution of your idea of friendship throughout different periods of your life ?

a) middle school / high school

b) university

c) first years of working life

d) the most recent stage of your life

 

I have a twin sister. Until I was 13 or so, we always had the same friends. So usually it would be her, our friend and I, always a group of three or so. So when I had my first friends to myself (around 13), it was all very confusing to me because I think I thought I should be as close to my friends as I was to my sister. It took me sometime to realise that these were very different relationships. Therefore I think for my first few friends (that were only my friends and not my sister's), it may have a been a bit a lot. Like I guess I wanted to be too close to them but I think I did not understand why at that time. That is also why I would not understand that people were okay having many many friends because in my head friendship = bond I have with my twin, that is very special and self-sufficient if I can say. It's only around the end of high school that I started realising the difference between all of that and balancing things out.

 

• Do you value more romantic relationships than friendships ? Or if you cannot answer this in a straightforward way, could you explain how these two play a role in your life ? Basically here you can write your thoughts on both. 

I think these are two different types of relationships and the two need to coexist. At least in my point of view. However, I would never see my life without my friends. I'm quite happy and proud of the friendships that I have and I wish to continue life with these people by my side and me by theirs.

 

• What is the definition of a good friend to you ?

It is someone that is here for you. Someone that is honest with you even when it hurts. Someone with whom you share the big and little things that happen in your life. And vice versa obviously, you should do the same for them. I guess to me basically, it is someone that you can count on and that person knows that they can count on you.

 

• Would you say that you are a good friend ?

I think I am. I think when I was younger I was a bit too much//too pushy but with time, I learned how to balance things out and how to adapt to each of my friends as well.

 

• Has it always been the case ?

-

 

• If not, what made you change ?

-

 

• Would you say that the way you first saw friendship (its role, its purpose, i.e, what it meant) was influenced by how your parents - or your primary caregiver- interacted with their friends ? (Please do take a moment to think about it)

TOTALLY ! I come from a family that had to move a lot throughout its history and even until this day. Friends became family as my family was living away from its original countries and where the rest of the family lived. I have friends that I don't even recall meeting for the first time because our parents were friends so we were introduced to each others since birth. I even have friends that our great-grandmothers were friends !! That's how our families became close. At this point, this ones I call them "cousins" haha.

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• How do you feel when you are with your close friends ? 

I feel at peace. I do not have to explain myself too much. They get me. I get them. We know and understand each others and are here for each others. Also, I feel safe with them. Even when we have disagreements, we know how to find each others back because we know that we love each other.

 

• Does it match the definition of friendship you mentioned in the first question ?

Completely. For all of my really close friends, it does match.

 

• What are your thoughts on the notion of ‘efforts’ put in relationships in general ? And in friendship in particular ?

As I said in the first question, "it is not always easy because sometimes people grow apart, or also because of distance". But I believe that any relationship requires an amount of effort (especially relationship that are not blood related). However, it really does not feel like an effort if the people involved are on the same wavelength. Since there is reciprocity. If it feels like an effort, then to me the relationship is imbalanced and then people need to separate. Because I do not believe into forcing things. It should be somewhat natural.

 

• Here you can add any thoughts that you would like to share about this theme.

To conclude, I feel like people sometime underestimate the power of friendship. It's a shame because it can be very beautiful :)

 

When you were answering these questions, I bet you had specific people in mind. So please as soon as you are done answering these, tell your friends that you love them :)