• What does friendship mean to you ?

Friendship is a pillar of life. It's a chosen bond with people that, if genuine, can be extremely meaningful and powerful. One thing I've noticed while thinking about this project is that while people often think of their closest friends as family, they rarely think of family members as friends. I think it's important to realize that some of our healthiest family relationships occur with people we consider and treat as friends.

 

•  Has it always meant the same throughout your life ?

The meaning of friendship has definitely evolved overtime for me. On the one hand, this evolution has created a sense of nostalgia for times when my friendships were easier to maintain. On the other hand, it gave me an appreciation for what to value in friendships and a deep feeling of gratitude for the ones that have lasted through distance and time.

 

• How old are you now ?

28

 

• Could you break down the evolution of your idea of friendship throughout different periods of your life ?

a) middle school / high school

b) university

c) first years of working life

d) the most recent stage of your life

 

When I was younger, my friends were essentially people I enjoyed spending time with. The only limitation to how much time we spent together was our parents’ willingness to drive us around. As I grew up and realized that friendships require work and effort, I started prioritizing friendships that allowed me to be myself. Nowadays, my friends are my confidants, my support system, and I look forward to quality time with them because it always involves laughter, banter, and joy.

 

• Do you value more romantic relationships than friendships ? Or if you cannot answer this in a straightforward way, could you explain how these two play a role in your life ? Basically here you can write your thoughts on both. 

In my opinion, friendship is the basis of a successful and long lasting romantic relationship. As such, I see both types of relationships as being integral to my life. Perhaps, the key distinction between the two is that I think of my partner as someone I am building life with and plan long-term projects with whereas I do not involve my friends as much in such planning decisions (I seek their support afterwards if something goes wrong hahaha).

 

• What is the definition of a good friend to you ?

A good friend is present, reliable, and honest without being judgemental.

 

• Would you say that you are a good friend ?

I don't think I can give a completely unbiased answer to this question, but I sincerely believe that I'm on the right track.

 

• Has it always been the case ?

No.

 

• If not, what made you change ?

Through my work and travel, I've learned to put myself in other people's shoes and that has helped me to become more compassionate and understanding.

 

• Would you say that the way you first saw friendship (its role, its purpose, i.e, what it meant) was influenced by how your parents - or your primary caregiver- interacted with their friends ? (Please do take a moment to think about it)

To some extent. My mom’s friendships have exemplified to me that friendships can bring a lot of joy, happiness, and a much needed sense of dependability. Many of her friendships are no different than the relationships she has with her siblings and I find that beautiful and meaningful.

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• How do you feel when you are with your close friends ? 

Mostly happy and serene and perhaps a bit more playful than usual.

 

• Does it match the definition of friendship you mentioned in the first question ?

Yes, the serenity comes from the fact that these are healthy relationships.

 

• What are your thoughts on the notion of ‘efforts’ put in relationships in general ? And in friendship in particular ?

I would move mountains for my friends and I know they would do the same for me. However, if one person consistently puts in more effort than the other, it creates an imbalance that I would consider as being “too much effort”.

 

• Here you can add any thoughts that you would like to share about this theme.

Thank you for making me want to call my best friend and tell him how much I care about him!

 

When you were answering these questions, I bet you had specific people in mind. So please as soon as you are done answering these, tell your friends that you love them :)